It Will All Get Better in Time

Just 2 weeks after my last write-up and life has never been the same…

2 weeks!!!

And even as of this writing, the status quo still has not changed for the better. Well, for the most part that is!

But as I look back to the time before the pandemic took its toll especially in our country, I thought of the whole scenario as something quite intangible. Until I finally saw the effects of the disease myself.

Right before my eyes.

Doctors risking and losing their lives in the process of caring for parents. The inevitable rise of  cases, both locally and nationally (hence we haven’t seen a flattening of the curve yet!). The loss of jobs and closure of some businesses as the economy continues to suffer. The drastic effects of lock down such as depression and suicide. The bitter revealing of how incompetent and inadequate our governments have been in dealing with the ongoing crisis. 

Although I never got to work at the hospital since March because our internship program was suspended to ensure the safety and security of post-graduate interns (we are still considered students somehow in the hierarchy of physicians!), it is quite obvious that the implications of this dreadful pandemic are more than the physical or health-related! And of course, the pandemic showed the true state of things.

With the ongoing turmoil in all aspects of life, everyone has been affected and is still being affected. No human being, regardless of age, sex, status, location or creed; being exempted from this pandemic’s wrath is an understatement. I guess, each one has it differently and has dealt with it differently.

Hence, as a reminder to self, I have no right to complain of the personal consequences of this pandemic because people out there surely have it far worse than me.

I may have lost the opportunity to finish two rotations (Surgery and OB-Gyne) due to the aforementioned suspension which meant lack of clinical experience in these areas for me. But at least I did not lose a job unlike thousands of ABS-CBN employees who may suffer unemployment after the decline of its franchise renewal. Or to make it more familiar, I did not lose the chance to walk the aisle with my parents on a graduation ceremony after surpassing medical school. (Graduates of 2020, my heart still goes out for you! I hope that you shall have your own experience of receiving your diploma next year or in God’s time whenever it may be.)

I still have to take the PLE (Physician’s Licensure Exam) next year due to present realities and this would entail a profound discipline on my part for the preparation. But on the bright side, despite the urgent need of keeping momentum in reviewing at the present, I finished my course way before the pandemic started and all the changes in our educational system would take place. I could only imagine how challenging it would be for students to have an online curriculum suffice for the moment and not engage in patient interactions, hands-on skills training and simply learning by experience. And to add to that,  not everyone has access to online resources or even if with Wi-Fi access, there are connectivity issues. It must be tough to live in a virtual world and how much more learn ? But then again, our health and safety come first. It is just my sincere hope that this online education for students would be sustainable and successful.

Since we had no duties which meant no more night shifts or sleeping late for quite some time, I have gained weight- the unhealthy type.  In the background of quarantine, one has the tendency to become sedentary but exercise is always feasible even within the comforts of home. I may have loaded much on carbs and neglected a regular exercise routine hence I am suffering the outcomes of my actions. But I have no right to complain or rant because not only is it my fault, I know people have bigger concerns like when their next meal would be or how one viand would be enough for a family of 9. As shown in the news, our less fortunate brothers and sisters could not overemphasize feeding a family during a pandemic crisis is more than a mountain to climb.

And lastly, the most trivial of all and maybe you dear reader can relate to, the cancellation of most of our 2020 plans especially those concerning travel. Being someone who loves to travel, it is quite a bummer that this privilege is not the safest to useor the most significant to consider. Though airlines may observe safety protocols and try to qualm one’s fears, I personally reckon it be best to stay away from travelling to other countries especially when there is still no cure for CoVID-19. And not only were the itineraries put to a halt, other goals or tasks may be postponed due to the limits and needs inherent in a pandemic. Still, I have to be grateful because even though the ‘new normal’ may seem to rob us of some opportunities, it actually has provided us some ways to still grow this year, ways which we did not think of before or we simply took for granted or we procrastinated.

Playing scrabble with your mother because she fondly asked you out of her boredom but then she had to end it prematurely because she ain’t winning. Catching up with a friend online and making sure she sees of how much you care. Taking a refreshing nap on a cool, rainy afternoon. Reading a book on Anatomy earnestly to understand the basic concepts of the intricacies of the human body. Watching a ‘Koreanovela’ ( a Korean TV series) for the first time and being captivated by a love story that transcends borders. Pouring out your soul again in your blog with the hopes that the writer in you is still alive. 

Without a doubt, I am lucky. But I choose not to call it luck.

I am beyond blessed. Blessed in a way that in spite of the persistent threat of this pandemic to my existence, I am still alive. I can still breathe the air infused with oxygen from the array of plants in our garden. I can still go for a morning jog and feel the sun greet me with its glorious rays; my heart pumping to its rhythm as I try to catch my breath. I can still hear the song of mayas welcome me upon waking up from a good night’s rest.  I can still hug my family and say “I love you” to them. I can still worship my Lord and Savior and in His loving presence, be at peace as I let go of my worries and fears. (Jeremiah 29:11 has appealed to me more!)

During this pandemic, I have learned to appreciate the simple things in life. To become more appreciative of the blessings we do have. To simply be grateful. To look and focus on the positive. To live life to the fullest, now when we are at our most vulnerable, most uncertain and most human.

I don’t know what the future holds. For me, for my family, for my country, for humanity. But knowing the One Who holds the future as much as He holds me, I know it will all get better in time.

The Journey Continues

The past 8 months have been an overwhelming ride for me as a Post Graduate Intern and though it may take more than one post to share my journey so far, this brief writeup is a short trip down memory lane.

Somehow, I could not deny I feel like time went by faster compared to when I was a clerk. It’s a feeling I can’t explain but just accept. We only have 4 months left until graduation and then preparation for the boards so it seems so surreal… Anyway, I could not also deny the excitement and enthusiasm I have to what the future holds for me in my medical journey.

So, to review the year, my groupmates and I are already done with four areas, namely: Community Medicine, Internal Medicine, Electives and the freshest for us, Pediatrics. Our schedule, just so you know, is the most hectic as most of the major rotations are scheduled towards the end. And we’re done with the “benign” ones. But on a good note, I’m glad that we made it this far as a team, without any failure to catch babies, major extensions or unnecessary drama. (I hope it stays this way until June.) Thank God for sustaining us all!

Family and Community Medicine was a BLISS though we had it at the start (I preferred to have it after 3 consecutive major rotations). It did prepare us for IM which confirmed my doubts about pursuing a path towards Pathology. However, during Electives, when I rotated in Pathology, the lab and everything it represents reminded me of why I primarily wanted to go for diagnostic medicine. And I thought the heart-tugging notions were enough until a plot twist occurred: I unexpectedly found myself considering or liking Pediatrics for the first time! Don’t get me wrong, I mean like I love kids but I never thought of myself treating this group of patients because obviously, they’re kids! These pictures below are snippets of how I learned to enjoy Pedia in a different way contrary to before.

If you have observed, I’m through with the clinical rotations that do not primarily involve the OR. And this fact gives me the jitters because I know I’m not into Surgery or OB-Gyne. Anyhow the Lord brought me this far and despite the expected harsh realities that await me, I press on by His grace to finish what I’ve started. Until I finish PGIship, the journey continues!

One Mistake

One bittersweet mistake

You willingly pursued and got to make

For growing trust to be aptly broken

And many words be left unspoken.

 

Two profound choices

From the loud, surrounding voices

But why did you have to choose

The one that caused a deep bruise?

 

Three bottles of alcohol or more

Which should be none, you swore

Under the spell of a mighty booze

You left me hurting; singing the blues.

 

Four o’clock in the morning

And the tears started pouring

As one waited and barely caught some sleep

Lost in concern, mind in worry so deep.

 

Five sets of arms that brought you safely

Success found despite the drunken frenzy

Six missed calls which prompted disappointment

And a huge wave of honest resentment.

 

The damage has been done, still I choose not to take count

Because the love in my heart is such a heavy amount

So may it be, dear friend, seventy times seven

The number of times you rise up, you will be forgiven.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m Single… So What?!

Me? Bittersweet on Valentine’s Day?!

As V-Day is just around the corner or technically just a few hours as of this writing, one could not deny that love is in the air. Or is it still the dreaded nCoV?! I hope not.

Kidding aside, I don’t want to come out as a bitter gourd after this post. But let me remind myself and you dear reader through this brief write-up, why there’s much more to February 14 even one is single/heartbroken/moving on/”insert any status contrary to ’em lovebirds.”

The color red becomes the vibrant hue, amidst decorations of hearts and arrows, with boxes of chocolates arranged together with pretty bouquets of flowers – the ideal setting for the perfect Valentine’s date. But such would prove to be an averse sight for certain people who feel like there’s no need to celebrate this day because their love life is like a magic carpet – it does not exist! Some would even consider Valentine’s Day to be Single Awareness Day (with emphasis on the first letter of each word to be = SAD!)

Reality hurts and it does so to me but then again, it was my personal choice after all to stay single or enjoy this singleness up to today! (NGSB represent!) Trust me, I want to be in a relationship sooner or later. But at the moment, it is not my priority especially when I’m too busy with the demands of my medical journey coupled with the needs to my personal growth and recovery (This totally needs another post to share!) After all, love is such a powerful force that one could not control who he or she falls in love with and it’s the best feeling ever! But love is also a choice of epic proportions. And so is changing your outlook this February 14.

So, instead of fretting over what-ifs or sulking in ‘hugot’ lines (pick-up or pullout lines commonly shared here in the Philippines), let us focus on other types of love worth celebrating besides the love from a special someone.

The love of  family

The love of friends

The love of pets (Too bad I don’t have any!)

The love of humanity or agape love

And of course, the greatest I’ve ever known personally because it is the source of all love,

The love of God! (John 3:16)

Yes! There are many kinds of love I could not overlook and I could only be thankful for, at this moment, at this stage of my life.

And I’m not saying each one of them would suffice always ’til the end. Our romantic love story would have its start, sometime in the future. Who knows you’ll meet the girl of your dreams tomorrow? Or your knight in shining armor after a couple of years? It’s definitely worth the wait.

 And it all boils down to perspective.

So for this Valentine’s Day and many more to come in the near future, be proactive in returning the love that you are blessed with, even though your status remains the same. Say “I love you” to your parents and siblings. Hug your friends. Cuddle your pets. Go the extra mile in serving a neighbor or a patient. Thank the Lord!

Love always begets love. And you will always know for a fact that you made the world a better place to live in by simply choosing to love and regardless of the state of your heart, celebrating love in all its sizes and shapes!

Happy Hearts Day everyone! ‘Palangga ko kamo!’ ❤

ADeoS, Infinity War (My Pre-Clerkship Post)

Photo by: Jade Marie

Breathes deeply…

BACKSTORY: It feels so surreal to be writing this post. Years back, I used to think of clerkship (which BTW for those who don’t know, starts on our fourth year in medical school, here in the Philippines) and now, I’m just 3 days ’til I wear my new white uniform. The different emotions I feel now might prevent me from finishing this post in good composure so unconsciously maybe that was the reason why I opted to express myself in the perspective of the blockbuster hit  (which so happened gave me a whole range of emotions too). Besides I’m a Marvel fan since I was a kid so it kinda helps my writing become fun and challenging at the same time. (P.S. If you still haven’t watch the flick, then I’d rather you won’t read to avoid spoilers; I guess I might get heavy with analogies.)

I really wanted to have this photo edited with the heads of the characters changed with those of my batch mates. But I don’t have the skills or the resources to do so… Photo source: https://www.hdwallpapers.in/avengers_infinity_war-wallpapers.html

CLERKSHIP FEELS LIKE FIGHTING THANOS. Well, that is, for me. This might sound like an exaggeration of epic proportions but trust me, not one person who shared some tips for me does not want to experience clerkship again. And of course, before I forget, almost everyone who already passed through it emphasizes that it is tiring at all aspects despite some moments of fun and laughter (something the movie and the most dreaded year in med school have in common!) And I guess these people have good reason to. With the unwanted feeling of unpreparedness no matter what the preparations ( Yes, I feel for Tony Stark)  and the inevitable fears of the unknown (just like Spider Man who on that tear-jerking scene, still didn’t want to go), one would really feel overwhelmed. There would be times that no matter what you do, it just won’t be enough to accomplish the task; similar to what the heroes went through at Titan in trying to remove the Infinity Gauntlet. Define hopelessness at its best! To add, I’m already expecting stress to be a daily companion but a good friend told me I wouldn’t want to add to it. That means wearing my smile constantly despite the thousands of reasons I may have to do otherwise (Mantis would agree with this!) or laughing off my mistakes which would pretty much be something Drax would do as well. So yes, maybe it is safe to say that somehow clerkship is like the biggest challenge med students have to face just like Thanos was the greatest threat to the Avengers. But it does not mean one does not get to enjoy the ride! It all boils down to perspective then, akin to Thor who was so focused in bringing justice to his brother’s death and saving the universe. Though my ‘hugot’ is certainly far from the Asgardian’s, may I have the same amount of determination in fulfilling my goal fervently- to become a MD.

IT’S ALL ABOUT TEAMWORK. As showcased many times in the movie, working hand in hand with each other is essential to survive the fight. Just like when Black Widow and Okoye got Scarlet Witch’s back and defended her against Proxima Midnight only for her to return the favor so soon (this awesome scene gave me the feels though it ended so gruesomely!) Or when Vision was almost killed but Captain America stepped in to save him! Let us not forget the Jabari Tribe under M’Baku who fought alongside King T’Challa on that fateful day! Yes, for sure, there would be squabbles between strong and proud egos as was the case with Iron Man and Star Lord. But putting aside each other’s differences in order to have an effective plan set into action is very important though challenging to do at first. Humbling oneself could never go wrong. (But then again their plan ended in failure because of… you know!)

Here’s me, hoping and praying for a good set of group mates. I’m not looking for perfection but simply for people who are responsible and cooperative; willing to work with me despite my flaws and limitations as I am willing for them as well!

#ADeoSForever: This is my beloved batch… May God help us to live up to our name, Altera Deo Servimus which stands for “For God We Serve”

AT THE END OF THE DAY, WE ALL GET TO DO WHAT WE ARE CALLED TO DO, WE ARE ALL HEROES. Whether it be in the MCU or in the hospital, no one could ever stop the heroes from pursuing their passion and purpose: to save lives. This entails selfless sacrifice as exhibited by Groot in giving up his branch-arm to become the handle of Thor’s Stormbreaker or by Doctor Strange in surrendering his responsibility to protect the Time Stone sparing Iron Man’s life in the process because But I think the greatest sacrifice of this kind in the movie was Vision’s in the context of the mind stone being the last one to be collected. Just to die for the sake of everyone is torture but to let your lover do the work is pure heartbreak! (Awwwww, going back to that scene is truly emotional including what ensued afterwards!) As for me, the expected sacrifices I shall make, whether my time or my health, would be  nothing compared to the joy a mother feels when she gets to hold her firstborn or the relief a child has after having his bruises taken care of or the comfort given to dying cancer patient. May I not eat my words though; human as I am. It is my desire that my future patients would not forget me for touching their lives. (To my co-interns or to those who can relate, I speak in the words of the mad Titan: “I hope they remember you…“)

Breathes deeply again…

There is no escaping the 365-day reality that is before me. Clerkship is coming!

Am I ready? Hardly. But unlike my Marvel counterparts, I have the Greatest Superhero beside me, always ready to guide me and strengthen me along the next chapter in my med school journey!

 

Losing Myself to be Found

“That’s what I’ll be. A silhouette, rarely seen, and yet believed in.” – Ellen Hopkins

BACKGROUND: After almost 3 months of silence here in my blog, it’s kind of challenging because my writing skills have become rusty. My third year in med school started a month ago and it has been, so far, one hell of a roller coaster ride. I thought of writing this piece maybe months ago but due to the busyness (which you might be always getting from my posts, dear reader) it’s only now that I get to unload. The trigger? Recent happenings in my life which I somehow wish didn’t happen but I ended up with lessons for life, some or maybe most I’m going to share through this write-up. Or if not, just reflected in what I would share. And probably some observations I’ve had the past days. Doing this not only alleviates the burden of not having someone to share at the moment; it is one way of self-assessment and reflection which are very important to me.

GOING THROUGH THE NOTIONS: Have you ever felt so empty and wasted that your life seems nothing but an endless cycle of mistakes and failures? That at the end of the day, before you go to sleep, you tell yourself: “Everything’s fine” but deep down inside you know it’s the other way around? And the worse part is people around you see through your eyes too. But they don’t know the truth; they don’t know what’s choking you inside, the broken mess that you have become. So, in the process, people have  placed you in the category that you don’t deserve, somehow stereotyping you unconsciously, making them act differently around you or just avoid you. As a result, you end up somehow isolated or you feel that way; the familiar feeling of loneliness creeping in as you succumb to the harsh, cold statement: “History repeats itself.” You try to see the bright side of things but it seems inhuman of you not to accept the reality of the state of your life. Well, you are responsible to how it turned out this way. So you have to face the facts. You have to face the consequences. You have to face you.

*Sighs*

Welcome to the complex of my weary and burdened mind! I may sound a bit paranoid (actually, that sounds like an understatement!) but I do have basis for my thoughts or feelings. You see, one close friend of mine revealed to me before that many of my batchmates saw/see me as someone so good and include-all-the-nice-adjectives-that-you-know. I’m exaggerating that prior sentence because if I remember it right, it was as if I was described “nga daw santo” (“like a saint”). And I was startled; I was clearly not amused. Don’t get me wrong, being considered good is something I’m NOT against with. And to have a favorable or respectable reputation, that’s something worth building in life, in my opinion. But to be placed in a pedestal I’m unworthy of prevents them from getting to know me for me or interacting with me to the fullest. Plus, going back to the point that I know myself and God be my witness, it would pretty much be a relief to have someone see me for what I truly am, through my eyes: a sinner saved by grace, a work in progress, a wretched human vessel still being fashioned into what the Master Potter wants me to become. And even more: I can get mad, like real mad if provoked. I can crack jokes, even green ones ’cause I’m a hormonal being after all. I can be pissed off or do that to others with my incessant teasing. I can cry, even a river that could flood Iloilo City worse than Typhoon Frank. I can be a lot of things regardless of my involvement in a religious organization or simply just my being a Christian. In short, I’m not all good; I have flaws, like major flaws which God certainly knows what. There is still darkness in me but I choose not to let that snuff out the light. It is my choice on how to deal with what I clearly know about myself now as I did then which would spell the difference. After all, before becoming a saint, one was once a sinner. But never would such a one feel worthy of being called or considered good. Even Jesus Himself! (Mark 10:18).

In expressing myself through this writing, I was brought to think of the following: Does it really matter what people think of me? Or what God thinks of me is more important? Should it really bother me if I feel lonely or I’m mostly alone? Or better yet I’m different compared to the majority, hence the rejection or isolation? Would I still live up to the expectations of people and not God’s?  I have the answers inside me. But rest assured, I am not pushing the ‘me-against-the-world’ ideology. It’s just me wanting to break the mode of  placing people into boxes and leaving them there! And that goes for me as well; I’ve placed myself in my own box that’s why my life feels this way. That’s why I’m still stuck up in the past and in others’ definition of me. Before I forget, I’m also applying what I learned from a misunderstanding I had with 2 friends before: to stand up for myself and speak out my mind wisely. I guess this is it.

So hopefully, starting tonight, it would be different. May it be a beginning of a new story: one where I get to have the right perspective as I live not for men’s praise or approval but for God’s glory and cause!  I echo what Selena Gomez once said and I quote: “I’m not trying to get validation nor do I need it anymore.” I already have value, far precious than anything, that it caused my God His life and borne out of that loving sacrifice!

I am ready to lose myself.

Now, I am found.

Colombiazoned

The track is available at: https://soundcloud.com/kylehabaradas/colombiazoned

BACKGROUND: Last 2015, when my country’s candidate Pia Wurtzbach won as Miss Universe, I was one of the happiest people on earth. Knowing her story, how she persevered to reach her goals and dreams made her victory so sweet. But with such a controversial turn of the crown, as you may recall, her reign hasn’t been the smoothest with all the hate comments and negative vibes from certain people. But she handled them all with grace and poise, as any Miss Universe winner would.

My fellow Filipinos, always seeing the humor in any situation, coined the term ‘Colombiazoned’ referring to what happened that unforgettable night. It refers to how you end up expecting something so badly but in vain. And there was a craze of using that word in statuses or ‘hugot’ posts. After some time, I had the inspiration to compose something for a national songwriting competition the next year. And before I knew it, with hard work and creativity sustained by God’s help, Colombiazoned was born! (I never made it to the contest proper though but hey, at least I tried!)

I know some of you dear readers may not understand the context of this song. (Even the lyrics to my non-Filipino audience poses a challenge!) Or it may be just the quality  of my record. (Forgive me for I don’t have a recording studio. Can you give me one? *Laughs) But whether you can relate or not, I hope you get the meat of my composition and never end up being Colombiazoned or worse, ending up like Steve Harvey!

Hindi ko akalain

Na ikaw ang naging salarin

Ng paghulog ng aking puso

Pag-ibig nga ba to?

Iyong napatunayan

Ika’y higit pa sa kaibigan

Para ako lang yung nanalo

Ng Miss Universe na titulo

Ngunit ako’y pinagpalit

Yung feeling na ika’y pinaasa

Ang sakit

Ako’y pinagkait

Sa pag-ibig na maling akala

(Bakit ako naniwala?)

Chorus:

Steve Harvey ng buhay ko

Bakit mo na kayang gawin ito?

Randam ko na ako na talaga

Pero hindi pala, hindi pala

Kawawa naman ako

Ganito pala kapag Colombiazoned

Nasa akin na yung korona

Bakit hindi na lang ako ang Pia

Ng buhay mo

 

Mahirap makamove-on

Kapag hapdi’t kirot ang baon

Naging marupok ang puso

Sana hindi imaging bato

Pero babangon ako

Hinding hindi na ulit aasa

Totoo kahit papano

Walang makakatigil sa pagkanta

(Mga Colombiazoned, sama sama!)

Repeat Chorus

Bridge:

Mabuti pa ang weather may PAG-ASA

O ang pag-utang may Pag-ibig

Ang damit nga may Forever

Eh tayo? Paano ako?!

Repeat Chorus

 

P.S. If you feel like singing the song and know it by heart, then sing along!

The Inquisition

I don’t know if it’s the hormones or just the holiday blues but I sort of felt burdened/weary recently… Well, human as I am, I am always prone to fluctuations in my mood or emotions. Who on earth is not? There is no immunity no matter how much I consider myself to be a proton. To express myself subtly, here are random questions (some petty, some serious) I’m faced with at the moment and maybe you, dear reader have an answer or two…

Why is it that when you want to achieve something out of good purpose (you’re actually doing someone a favor with your willingness to help) , you end up with ‘antagonism’? But the person who asks something that is not needed at all from that same someone, is met with, ironically, a positive response?

How is it that some people cannot afford to say even just a simple “thank you” especially when it is somehow desirably expected?

 Why do good people still lose friends? 

Why is it that some people are so perplexed and hard to grasp? You are willing to help but why do they still choose to make things more complicated?

How do you get your doctor parents to listen to you? Because seriously, you’re very concerned with their health but they’re like worse than kids so how do you stay patient with such patients?

What should I really feel when people think I’m a high school student? Should I be happy because I still look young or should I feel bad because there might be something wrong with my endocrine system? 

How long will it take for me to get this right? When will the cycle ever stop? 

Why did I allow myself to become like this? I know some things will never be, should never be but why do I feel so inclined to feel such emotions for or to these people?

Why is it that people always seem to see the good in me and put me on a pedestal? Not that it’s a bad thing but how I wish they knew so they could see that I’m also struggling or maybe worse than they could be/are?

Do I have what it takes to become the doctor I intend to be and what God plans me to be?

Will I ever find the girl of my dreams? Or is she already there and I just have to open my eyes?

Will I be ready for the second Advent? (I hope and pray so. I had to answer something for this one. After all, the eternal prize is my most important goal in life.)

(Breathes deeply.)

I think I feel much better now, to the point that I can light up a cigarette. (Joke intended!)

 

I Freaking Hate It When…

Not my usual face but as a human being, I have the right to put on such…

Backstory: I arrived just last Sunday back  to my second home, Iloilo City for the burial of my uncle and for our annual PE before enrollment the next day. And you know what welcomed me? Traffic. Incessant, disturbing traffic. Well, for a highly progressive place that’s become more of a metropolis recently, this is a normal scenario. But with the ongoing reblocking of the street in front of my school, things have worsened.

Let the picture do the talking!!!

Before, I was already planning of writing about the things that irk me or bug me; in short, things that I hate. And with this very stark trigger, how could I not do that now? (Laughs) But please don’t get me wrong. I do have a tendency to complain at times but that doesn’t mean I’m the squawker type of person. (By God’s grace, may I lose this tendency though!) My initial purpose was to vent out such things as a way of expressing myself and sharing my opinion (I do live in a democratic country.) BUT with tact and dignity. Well, ranting is not the way to go for a Christian like me! You see, human as we are, we all hate something. Or even someone, right? (If this is true for you, then I pray that you let go of the hatred.This feeling is not healthy as Jesus told us in Luke 6:27-28: But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.) But the latter is another topic so I’ll just stick with the things that I dislike because I don’t want to hate anybody. 

And before I forget, this was supposed to be an Expressions Tuesday post! But because I was too busy yesterday, I’d just have to make a delayed one as I did before. Besides, some of my readers live in different time zones so yes, it’s still Tuesday for them! To aggravate this, there was a brownout (this is what we call blackout here).

Reaching 100 likes inspired me to write this post!!!!

 

Whoa! Too much for an introduction. Let’s get it on with the 7 (yes, it seems like the perfect number) things or situations that I hate! I freaking hate it when:

1. I end up in traffic especially preventable, unnecessary traffic. To supplement what I shared above, what bothered me the most with the present condition of Luna Street was the untimeliness of the government project. I have nothing against roads getting fixed but I just wonder why on earth didn’t they start it last summer? I think the reblocking started last June or July and so it would be hard for students to go to school. (By the way, most schools start their classes on June here in the Philippines.) And since it is still rainy season, you could imagine how that would stall the reconstruction. Tsk!!!! I hope and pray that this project would be finished as soon as possible!
2. I see rampant pollution. As an environment-conscious individual, it makes me sad to see how my country is so dirty compared to its neighbor Singapore. I still haven’t traveled there but I know how strict their policies are on littering and garbage disposal. Well, there are cleaner places in the Philippines but in every city or town, there are always areas where the sight and smell are not pleasant. Goes to show how most of my fellowmen lack the discipline even in just putting trash where it belongs.
3. Cigarette smoke says hello. Somehow connected to number 2 but with more emphasis on its impact to my and other people’s health. Especially when such noxious air comes from people who shouldn’t smoke or who are in places where smoking is prohibited. I call for strict implementation of ordinances and rules on smoking!
4. Mosquitoes go on a biting buffet on me. As they dig me a lot, I always end up with the discomfort of scratching! Thank God, I haven’t suffered from dengue or malaria! I hope it remains that way. Ugh! Why couldn’t these creatures just suck my fats and not my blood?!
5. I see an horrific image on the Internet by accident. I don’t watch horror movies but it doesn’t translate to security from seeing something dreadful. Twice, while I was scrolling my Facebook home page, I saw Valak from Conjuring (‘May masamang balak’). And it freaked me out! The worse part was how my mind vividly captured her image. Good thing, I didn’t have nightmares during those times.
6. Someone stalks me. Who doesn’t? Actually, today marks the 3rd anniversary of my creepy encounter with my female schizophrenic stalker. I was avoiding her when I noticed she was into me or something. And I guess she got tired of my dodging so in order to get my attention, she threw her Nokia cellphone on me. Because of the impact to my head, it took a couple of seconds for me to analyze the thing that just happened. Plus, my lil’ sis got hit too but worse because it was by  the pointed part of the phone that really disassembled due to the force! I remember that out of my exasperation, I posted a status on Facebook that was so unlikely of me! (Hakuna matata, there were no curse words! Haha….) But as I look back now, I could only laugh at it and be grateful that because of that incident, she never bothered me again.
7. I make careless, feeling-driven choices. (This one seems to be the most serious and personal.) “Life is what you make it”, they say and with every wrong decision you get to put yourself on the line for another one. I’ve read that making decisions out of feelings always lead to destruction and I got to  experience that the hard way. May it be that by God’s grace, I get to make wiser and better ones from this forward.

So far, these are the things I hate. There may be more than I can remember. But what’s important is that I was able to have a sweet release.

How about yours? I suggest you write them down too so that maybe, just maybe, you can do something about them.

The Greatest Connection of All

Backstory: Last May, during our family summer trip at Palawan, I was amused to find that the Wi-Fi password for the pension house was JesusChrist. (Please refer to picture above.) I smiled back then and now I have to admit that it’s one of the best passwords I ever encountered. It was big proof that the owner of the place we lodged was probably a devout Christian. As time passed by, I had the prompting to write something about the password. Though it’s such a small matter, it spoke to me in volumes. So let me share the essence of this tiny, insignificant paper…

All around us, each day, we see how life is hugely dependent on technology. Our means of communication with each other entail the use of devices that have become more complex through the years. And for sure, as most of us are users of such, we know how important it is to have good connection. That’s why with the advent of Wi-Fi, everything seems to be faster and easier. (And personally, I couldn’t help but agree to this! There were times that I always inquired if there was Wi-Fi access or ensured that there was such! Yes, for a medical student/blogger/musician like me, Wi-Fi is a necessity.)

But as Christians, we need to ask ourselves the more important questions: How is my connection with Jesus? Am I spending time with Him, in prayer and study of His Word? Am I yearning to come to Him in solitude, to be near Him in spite of the inevitable pressures and constant busyness of  this life?

We all have different answers. And they reflect how we prioritize our relationship with God. But it doesn’t mean that if we perfect this practice daily, we’re in safe hands. Take it from my experience. I usually have my morning devotions and my separate time for my ‘Bible in One Year’ reading. But when assailed by temptation, it was like as if I never read any verse or prayed. I learned the hard way that coming out from the garden with God will not always prevent us from going into the wilderness of sin or hinder us from experiencing diverse trials. Yet, it is undoubtedly VITAL to keep our connection with God strong and especially during challenging times like when you are facing temptation, stronger. Kindly read Psalm 119:11 and 105 as supporting evidence to what His Word can do for us in those though moments.

I pray that these reflections would cause you to pursue a deeper and more meaningful relationship with the Lord by assimilating the Living Word into our hearts and minds and cementing them with prayer!

Here’s to a spiritual reboot!