BACKSTORY: It feels so surreal to be writing this post. Years back, I used to think of clerkship (which BTW for those who don’t know, starts on our fourth year in medical school, here in the Philippines) and now, I’m just 3 days ’til I wear my new white uniform. The different emotions I feel now might prevent me from finishing this post in good composure so unconsciously maybe that was the reason why I opted to express myself in the perspective of the blockbuster hit (which so happened gave me a whole range of emotions too). Besides I’m a Marvel fan since I was a kid so it kinda helps my writing become fun and challenging at the same time. (P.S. If you still haven’t watch the flick, then I’d rather you won’t read to avoid spoilers; I guess I might get heavy with analogies.)
CLERKSHIP FEELS LIKE FIGHTING THANOS. Well, that is, for me. This might sound like an exaggeration of epic proportions but trust me, not one person who shared some tips for me does not want to experience clerkship again. And of course, before I forget, almost everyone who already passed through it emphasizes that it is tiring at all aspects despite some moments of fun and laughter (something the movie and the most dreaded year in med school have in common!) And I guess these people have good reason to. With the unwanted feeling of unpreparedness no matter what the preparations ( Yes, I feel for Tony Stark) and the inevitable fears of the unknown (just like Spider Man who on that tear-jerking scene, still didn’t want to go), one would really feel overwhelmed. There would be times that no matter what you do, it just won’t be enough to accomplish the task; similar to what the heroes went through at Titan in trying to remove the Infinity Gauntlet. Define hopelessness at its best! To add, I’m already expecting stress to be a daily companion but a good friend told me I wouldn’t want to add to it. That means wearing my smile constantly despite the thousands of reasons I may have to do otherwise (Mantis would agree with this!) or laughing off my mistakes which would pretty much be something Drax would do as well. So yes, maybe it is safe to say that somehow clerkship is like the biggest challenge med students have to face just like Thanos was the greatest threat to the Avengers. But it does not mean one does not get to enjoy the ride! It all boils down to perspective then, akin to Thor who was so focused in bringing justice to his brother’s death and saving the universe. Though my ‘hugot’ is certainly far from the Asgardian’s, may I have the same amount of determination in fulfilling my goal fervently- to become a MD.
IT’S ALL ABOUT TEAMWORK. As showcased many times in the movie, working hand in hand with each other is essential to survive the fight. Just like when Black Widow and Okoye got Scarlet Witch’s back and defended her against Proxima Midnight only for her to return the favor so soon (this awesome scene gave me the feels though it ended so gruesomely!) Or when Vision was almost killed but Captain America stepped in to save him! Let us not forget the Jabari Tribe under M’Baku who fought alongside King T’Challa on that fateful day! Yes, for sure, there would be squabbles between strong and proud egos as was the case with Iron Man and Star Lord. But putting aside each other’s differences in order to have an effective plan set into action is very important though challenging to do at first. Humbling oneself could never go wrong. (But then again their plan ended in failure because of… you know!)
Here’s me, hoping and praying for a good set of group mates. I’m not looking for perfection but simply for people who are responsible and cooperative; willing to work with me despite my flaws and limitations as I am willing for them as well!
AT THE END OF THE DAY, WE ALL GET TO DO WHAT WE ARE CALLED TO DO, WE ARE ALL HEROES. Whether it be in the MCU or in the hospital, no one could ever stop the heroes from pursuing their passion and purpose: to save lives. This entails selfless sacrifice as exhibited by Groot in giving up his branch-arm to become the handle of Thor’s Stormbreaker or by Doctor Strange in surrendering his responsibility to protect the Time Stone sparing Iron Man’s life in the process because But I think the greatest sacrifice of this kind in the movie was Vision’s in the context of the mind stone being the last one to be collected. Just to die for the sake of everyone is torture but to let your lover do the work is pure heartbreak! (Awwwww, going back to that scene is truly emotional including what ensued afterwards!) As for me, the expected sacrifices I shall make, whether my time or my health, would be nothing compared to the joy a mother feels when she gets to hold her firstborn or the relief a child has after having his bruises taken care of or the comfort given to dying cancer patient. May I not eat my words though; human as I am. It is my desire that my future patients would not forget me for touching their lives. (To my co-interns or to those who can relate, I speak in the words of the mad Titan: “I hope they remember you…“)
Breathes deeply again…
There is no escaping the 365-day reality that is before me. Clerkship is coming!
Am I ready? Hardly. But unlike my Marvel counterparts, I have the Greatest Superhero beside me, always ready to guide me and strengthen me along the next chapter in my med school journey!