Don’t Stop the Drip Drop

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The view from my room after the downpour. I hope you can see that unclear water drop from the ceiling.

It has been a pluvious morning so far and the rain actually stopped like 2 minutes ago. Well, it brought mixed emotions within. Don’t get me wrong. I love the rain. I thanked God for it because I know the plants are rejoicing now with the abundant water supply provided for them. Well, I think the shower today was the strongest for this month. (By the way, if you still don’t know, it’s already rainy season here in the Philippines. It starts from June and can extend up to September. We only have 2 seasons here you know. So yeah, lying on a pile of orange leaves or making a snow angel is still on my my bucket list.) And with this weather, it’s not hard to appreciate the coolness of the air, a refreshing balm from the usual heat we have in a tropical country. But my gratitude and relief were quite short-lived. I got irked out because the rain came on such a wrong time- when I was doing the laundry manually outside the house (plus some other related stuff which I need not mention). Good thing, it stopped for a little while but talk about the perfect nightmare of having the clothes you just washed drying slowly, without the sun’s help. (Our washing machine is left unfixed so you get the picture. :/) But this is not what I’m going to write about. Looks like I’ve shared too much already. (Laughs) Forgive me. With the timeliness of a rainy Wednesday, I just wanted to share how my Tuesday was rainy too but in a different way.

You see, yesterday, before I wrote my “Round and Round… No More” post, I spent some alone time with the Lord through contemplation and prayer. With music to enrich my experience, I was getting emotional. And I cried. I cried out of desperation, out of shame, out of conviction, out of helplessness. (If you read my post, you’ll understand where I was coming from.) I just cried to Him.

It wasn’t long until I cried again while watching the movie, “Miracles from Heaven” with my family. Although some parts of the movie didn’t agree with my beliefs, the true-to-life story touched my heart in ways I didn’t expect. I was clearly overwhelmed with the many essential lessons I drew with regards to faith and family. (If you still haven’t watched it, I highly recommend it! Just prepare your tissues or hankies though especially if you’re onion-skinned.)

And just when you think it’s the end of my tear provoking journey!  I decided to respond to the people who liked my post yesterday and I ended up reading some of their works. I was inspired and blessed with what I read. Until that one post where I almost cried because her message was just what I needed at the moment!

(Sighs.) I really cried a lot yesterday that if there was like a normal value range for tears, I’d say I was in the ‘Very High’ category. Or worse, did I defeat Sadness from ‘Inside Out’? Haha… But seriously, I realized later (and even now as I’m typing this) something valuable: Crying is okay. Crying is beautiful. We live in a world where crying is ‘usually’ considered weakness or femininity. But I beg to disagree. To cry is to say that you are strong enough to accept that you can’t make it on your own. To cry is to let go. To cry is to be human.

So whatever happens or wherever I may be, if I feel  like crying, I won’t stop the drip drop. Because after all, for me, tears are no waste.

P.S.Wow, just, wow! As I was about to end this post, the rain returned! Talk about natural reinforcement!

 

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Round and Round….. No More

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Let our constant speech be: “Lord, save me or I perish! I surrender all!”

Have you ever felt like your life is an endless cycle of mistakes and failures? You fall, dust off the dirt, you rise up; you stumble, you rise up again. And it’s with the same things you’ve been battling ever since: some formidable strongholds, darling sins or even secret weaknesses that have plagued you for too long. By and with God’s grace, you recover and experience a plethora of rich blessings and wonderful opportunities making you feel like you’re completely over the things that link you to the past; that you’d never do them again. But before you know it, you end up at the same place you never wanted to return to. With this heart-aching turn of events, the enemy of souls would cause you to think that there is no chance for you to come back to God, to change for the better. And now, you feel utterly hopeless and undoubtedly helpless. Too much for a description huh?  But I guess that’s the way it is when you really experienced such. And if your answer to the question above is YES (a resounding but bitter one), welcome to the club, dear friend! (Here’s my comforting virtual hug!) Don’t get stuck up with these negative feelings though! There is always hope in our Redeemer, Savior and Friend Jesus Christ! And it is my utmost desire to briefly share some insights the Lord has provided me with to you!

I believe that everyone in the world has his/her own spiritual Waterloo. Well, some have become victorious in their battle! (Praise God for that!) But to those who are still on the rocks, we need to understand one important truth: we are wretched human beings, born as sinners and always having the propensity to sin. Paul got it right when he wrote in Romans 7:24- “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (This verse actually has captured the essence of my personal spiritual experience.) Once we come to a full understanding of this, we see that whatever we do, we can’t stop something or change ourselves without divine aid. We are nothing on our own. We surely need the grace of God more than a strong will to overcome! Please echo with me in response to the said text, “No one can save me but Thee!”

But we later realize that God’s grace doesn’t win us all the time when it competes with our sins.It should because His grace is sufficient for us. (2 Corinthians 12:9) However, this is enough to say that something is still wrong or something is missing. You see, salvation is never a once-in-a-lifetime moment. It is a daily process of full surrender (where those things that kept you far from the Lord are not worth clinging to or they lose their power over you) and total commitment to what a ransomed life in Christ entails. What would it profit me if I am saved but I still do the same things that God is against? To add, it could be possible that we depend on feelings and think everything’s okay; only to find out in the end that there was no true conversion within us at all. Let us not forget that “true conversion means a changed life” as one of my favorite authors, Ellen G. White puts it. Or maybe we have been relying on ourselves too much that His grace is nothing more but just a lyric of a song.

Somehow, in assessment of myself, all those factors played a role on why I’m still struggling.But it’s not the end for me yet. I chose not to give up and get away from this mess. I am determined to make things right with the help of the Lord and now, I am humbled to say that I am 100% dependent upon His grace! Through faith, grace by which I stand, by which I am saved, by which I can change.

I don’t know about you but I’m sure tired of going around in circles!

P.S. Here’s a song to complete my post and to serve as a musical add-on!

IMAGE SOURCE: https://adventistmissionary.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/christ-hugging

Unleashing the Kangaroo in Me

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SOURCE: http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/content/dam/kids/photos/animals/Mammals/H-P/kangaroo-hopping

Fresh from a precious nap, you might expect me to be energized to write out this entry. Or it might be the new month feels. (Wah, it’s already June 1?) Although they might be influential, there is certainly something deeper and more relevant that prompted me to hit the ‘Create a New Post’ button. Before sleeping earlier, I was not feeling well but I managed to have my daily, alone time with God. The message from Our Daily Bread was so timely and so inspiring that it got me thinking and self-evaluating. God’s providence even in the message you receive for the day never fails to amaze me. It was the same way too yesterday. So I guess now, you know why I really want to share this and hopefully, you can get something from this brief post.

From ODB, I learned that kangaroos seldom move backward and so do emus. Well, their anatomies are responsible for that. In analogy, the writer pointed out the importance of moving forward instead of being stuck in the past. I like what he said in the last paragraph: “While it is wise to learn from the past, we shouldn’t live in the past. We cannot redo or undo the past, but by God’s grace we can press forward and serve God faithfully today and in the future. The life of faith is a journey forward as we become like Christ.” These words hit me hard and led me to a self-examination because recently, things have been difficult for me. I was convicted of letting the past haunt me or rule my life even though there was already a time  I had to let go.

As I look back, I can’t help but feel regret for some things that I did. The feeling is mutual when I remember how I lost my IPhone 5 (it got wet during our trip to Palawan). Don’t get me wrong; I am not materialistic. But it kills me to know that I could never retrieve all the photos and videos taken from that device. Well, I just comfort myself though with the thought that at least, I didn’t lose something far valuable. I truly believe you know, dear reader, what I’m referring to. These are not actually things but people, values, etc. And before I forget, God taught me a lesson that day, learned the hard way but never forgotten. However, I’ll keep that to myself.

It wasn’t only in May that I was still bothered by the past. Just this morning, while doing the laundry with my sister, our conversation led to a ‘sensitive’ topic- the board exam. If you read my post on my board exam experience, then you’d understand where I’m coming from and why I mentioned it here. The unwanted reactions surely prove that I still didn’t move on completely and after reading the passage from ODB, God was clearly reminding me that I had to do so.

How about you, my friend? Are you still buried in the past that you can’t come out victorious even if you wanted to? Are you still harboring all those regrets and what-ifs in your mind? Now is the time to release them to the Lord. Now is the time to let go and completely entrust Him your life in faith. Now is the time to find your inner kangaroo and set it free.

P.S. Here’s something from the Bible to inspire you to move forward like a kangaroo (I hope the song would do likewise): “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (3:13-14).