It Will All Get Better in Time

Just 2 weeks after my last write-up and life has never been the same…

2 weeks!!!

And even as of this writing, the status quo still has not changed for the better. Well, for the most part that is!

But as I look back to the time before the pandemic took its toll especially in our country, I thought of the whole scenario as something quite intangible. Until I finally saw the effects of the disease myself.

Right before my eyes.

Doctors risking and losing their lives in the process of caring for parents. The inevitable rise of  cases, both locally and nationally (hence we haven’t seen a flattening of the curve yet!). The loss of jobs and closure of some businesses as the economy continues to suffer. The drastic effects of lock down such as depression and suicide. The bitter revealing of how incompetent and inadequate our governments have been in dealing with the ongoing crisis. 

Although I never got to work at the hospital since March because our internship program was suspended to ensure the safety and security of post-graduate interns (we are still considered students somehow in the hierarchy of physicians!), it is quite obvious that the implications of this dreadful pandemic are more than the physical or health-related! And of course, the pandemic showed the true state of things.

With the ongoing turmoil in all aspects of life, everyone has been affected and is still being affected. No human being, regardless of age, sex, status, location or creed; being exempted from this pandemic’s wrath is an understatement. I guess, each one has it differently and has dealt with it differently.

Hence, as a reminder to self, I have no right to complain of the personal consequences of this pandemic because people out there surely have it far worse than me.

I may have lost the opportunity to finish two rotations (Surgery and OB-Gyne) due to the aforementioned suspension which meant lack of clinical experience in these areas for me. But at least I did not lose a job unlike thousands of ABS-CBN employees who may suffer unemployment after the decline of its franchise renewal. Or to make it more familiar, I did not lose the chance to walk the aisle with my parents on a graduation ceremony after surpassing medical school. (Graduates of 2020, my heart still goes out for you! I hope that you shall have your own experience of receiving your diploma next year or in God’s time whenever it may be.)

I still have to take the PLE (Physician’s Licensure Exam) next year due to present realities and this would entail a profound discipline on my part for the preparation. But on the bright side, despite the urgent need of keeping momentum in reviewing at the present, I finished my course way before the pandemic started and all the changes in our educational system would take place. I could only imagine how challenging it would be for students to have an online curriculum suffice for the moment and not engage in patient interactions, hands-on skills training and simply learning by experience. And to add to that,  not everyone has access to online resources or even if with Wi-Fi access, there are connectivity issues. It must be tough to live in a virtual world and how much more learn ? But then again, our health and safety come first. It is just my sincere hope that this online education for students would be sustainable and successful.

Since we had no duties which meant no more night shifts or sleeping late for quite some time, I have gained weight- the unhealthy type.  In the background of quarantine, one has the tendency to become sedentary but exercise is always feasible even within the comforts of home. I may have loaded much on carbs and neglected a regular exercise routine hence I am suffering the outcomes of my actions. But I have no right to complain or rant because not only is it my fault, I know people have bigger concerns like when their next meal would be or how one viand would be enough for a family of 9. As shown in the news, our less fortunate brothers and sisters could not overemphasize feeding a family during a pandemic crisis is more than a mountain to climb.

And lastly, the most trivial of all and maybe you dear reader can relate to, the cancellation of most of our 2020 plans especially those concerning travel. Being someone who loves to travel, it is quite a bummer that this privilege is not the safest to useor the most significant to consider. Though airlines may observe safety protocols and try to qualm one’s fears, I personally reckon it be best to stay away from travelling to other countries especially when there is still no cure for CoVID-19. And not only were the itineraries put to a halt, other goals or tasks may be postponed due to the limits and needs inherent in a pandemic. Still, I have to be grateful because even though the ‘new normal’ may seem to rob us of some opportunities, it actually has provided us some ways to still grow this year, ways which we did not think of before or we simply took for granted or we procrastinated.

Playing scrabble with your mother because she fondly asked you out of her boredom but then she had to end it prematurely because she ain’t winning. Catching up with a friend online and making sure she sees of how much you care. Taking a refreshing nap on a cool, rainy afternoon. Reading a book on Anatomy earnestly to understand the basic concepts of the intricacies of the human body. Watching a ‘Koreanovela’ ( a Korean TV series) for the first time and being captivated by a love story that transcends borders. Pouring out your soul again in your blog with the hopes that the writer in you is still alive. 

Without a doubt, I am lucky. But I choose not to call it luck.

I am beyond blessed. Blessed in a way that in spite of the persistent threat of this pandemic to my existence, I am still alive. I can still breathe the air infused with oxygen from the array of plants in our garden. I can still go for a morning jog and feel the sun greet me with its glorious rays; my heart pumping to its rhythm as I try to catch my breath. I can still hear the song of mayas welcome me upon waking up from a good night’s rest.  I can still hug my family and say “I love you” to them. I can still worship my Lord and Savior and in His loving presence, be at peace as I let go of my worries and fears. (Jeremiah 29:11 has appealed to me more!)

During this pandemic, I have learned to appreciate the simple things in life. To become more appreciative of the blessings we do have. To simply be grateful. To look and focus on the positive. To live life to the fullest, now when we are at our most vulnerable, most uncertain and most human.

I don’t know what the future holds. For me, for my family, for my country, for humanity. But knowing the One Who holds the future as much as He holds me, I know it will all get better in time.

Finding Joy in Medicine

Isn’t it great that the one who shot this is the actress who played a significant character in the movie? Credits to Jade Marie

 

While watching the short film entry of our batch ADeoS entitled Joy in Medicine this afternoon, I was having ‘goosies’ all over me. The emotional masterpiece has appealed to my soul and no matter how I may try to prevent the surge, it has brought back certain emotions attached to hurtful or unwanted memories in my not-so-distant past. Trying to find composure within myself through prayer as I was on my way home, I was so moved by the film that I had the prompting to write what I felt because of it. And it was so funny and weird at the same time when I reached the shed going to the main gate of the campus ’cause the song playing was Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood. When I was near the gate, that’s when the song ended and for the duration of seconds I listened to it, my walk was all the more emotional. (Yes, this speaks volumes.)

(Sighs…) I’ve come to realize that medicine is not only an academic challenge because it affects other aspects of your life- physical, mental, social, emotional and sometimes sad to say, spiritual. But I guess what’s important is that you learn to adjust and accept things for what they really are, believe in yourself and in the people who are worthy of trust and learn to commit everything to God in faith. (That first small group session we had before the screening really helps to set things into the right prospective now.) Unlike one character in the film who clearly lost all hope to live, I choose to see and focus on the bright side of a medical student’s life. (So help me God!)

Through the inevitable that is to come, here’s to finding joy in medicine!

 

2015: A Year of Transition

(Fresh from my daily alone time with God, I am certainly in the mood to write this post! I guess being able to have my exercise this morning helped me to be all pumped out for the first day of 2016! How I wish I can keep up with this and make it a routine for a healthier life this New Year.)

Wow!!! (Breathes deeply…) I cannot believe it guys! It’s already 2016 and another year has just gone by. Let me briefly share with you how my 2015 went because it was surely filled with many big achievements, fun moments and abundant blessings!

I dubbed this year as a “Year of Transition” because it found me entering a state of independence. Last January, I left for Manila and lived there for almost 3 months. While surviving the unwanted and harsh realities in the capital (being away from my family for the first time was tougher), I had my review there for the Med Tech board exams which took place last March. By God’s grace, I passed the examinations and was only few points away from the Top 10! Talk about shattered dreams! It was hard to swallow and even now, if it crosses my mind, I somehow get bothered and all. But God taught me an unforgettable lesson which I will ever remember. And of course, how could I not be happy? I passed and became a Registered Medical Technologist! May I seek to focus on the future and not on what could have been! ‘Let it go, let it go, can’t hold me back anymore!’  There you go, that’s helpful!

Besides becoming a professional this year, it was also transitional for me because I entered West Visayas State University- College of Medicine last July. Med school was a big leap because I stayed miles away from my family and for the first time also, I was living in a dorm. And academically speaking, the study load was far different from my pre med course. But one thing was and has been certain, always: God sustained me, in all aspects especially financially, throughout my stay at Roxas Hall. I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to study in a premiere school so that I could achieve my childhood dream!

These two were the highlights of the past year but I couldn’t afford not to mention the people that made it memorable and meaningful. I have been richly blessed with many new found friendships. My med school barkada, Team AAAACHU (our group name is a combination of the first letter of our family names) has added joy and laughter to my plate making med school a delightful ride. How much more my SGD Group, Mangtwo2waz! Med school has taken brand new meaning when I joined the chorale group of the college, the Med Symphony. Our tiring practices for our Christmas caroling were profoundly rewarded with delicious meals, generous donations and heartwarming compliments! This goes the same way for my SDA family at West, the 136 Wishers, a group of talented and friendly people whose presence I will always be thankful for. And I will certainly not forget my family especially my father. Tatay was the one who accompanied me to Manila and Iloilo (What big sacrifice!); he was undoubtedly influential in my successes. Nanay, on the other hand, has supported me a lot through her motherly prayers and genuine comfort. My two loving sisters have been instrumental in making my life easier and happier. Indeed, it is our relationships that spice our life. What could be our memories without family or friends? Thank You Lord for these precious souls, such vivid reminders of how loving You are!

Well, I wish I could tell you more but my tummy’s rumbling! Haha… In summary, 2015 has been a challenging rollercoaster ride for me and my family. I learned a lot of things and I am hoping that these lessons would serve me good this year. I failed, I stumbled, I messed up. But God, in His great faithfulness and loving goodness still forgave, forgot and fixed me. Despite all the setbacks and shortcomings, I couldn’t be more grateful for He is in control and He loves me unconditionally!

Letting go of the past, living for the present and looking forward to a brighter and better future this 2016, I bid you as I end this post: Happy New Year!