From ‘What Ifs’ to ‘Whatevs’

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(Whew… I think I needed a simple sigh before sharing my thoughts on some very personal stuff. Well, I am teeming with regret like a coral reef with all the colorful fishes around me. And I don’t like this feeling to hold on; especially now that medschool starts in a month. So I pretty much would like to let it all out so that one of the greatest regrets would lose its toll on me and I can finally move on with my life. This is my way of letting go and to any person/institution referred in the next paragraphs; this is my way of reaching you because I can’t afford to be mum. But hakuna matata, I’m scrupulous enough not to reveal any identity.)

What if I did not expect too much and just looked for another? You may think I’m talking about a person here but na-uh. You see, the first regret I’m sharing is one of the biggest in my life. It is the fact that I never got to work in a laboratory full time, either as a fresh graduate or a professional. I’m a goal-oriented person and after graduation last year, I had all these plans of what to do with my life. Since I could not take the September board exams because some fell on a Sabbath, I planned to work as a phlebotomist so that I could save some money while simultaneously reviewing for both the boards and the NMAT. It really seemed like the perfect plan at that time. I was so excited to put it into action. I thought about the benefits and the satisfaction of being productive and helpful to my parents.

After our in-house review, I applied for a phlebotomist position at a hospital where I also had my internship before graduation. It was my dream place to work as a health worker where I could put into practice the knowledge and skills that I acquired from school. I had high hopes of being hired with all the positive notions from the staff of the laboratory. I really expected that I could get in ‘cause I also knew some people who were not registered but were able to work as phlebotomists. Sadly, to my dismay, I was not. It was very disappointing but I accepted it as God’s will. I tried to look for other job openings but in vain. How I wish I accepted a job offer from a friend before applying at that institution because the latter was laid on false hopes for me. And what makes it worse is that a year after all these employment blues (which dissipated in time for I came to accept that it was truly God’s will for me not to work yet), I came to realize some things that brought them back. And all I can say is “Life is certainly unfair”. The human resources may have had their reasons but I could not help but see the discrepancies. And it completely left me upset; it opened my eyes to the harsh truth that sometimes only those with connections can enter. But then again, God had a purpose why I did not end up there. He knows what’s best and I will continue to trust Him. It is just heartbreaking that a year is near to pass and only once was I able to work in a laboratory for compensation. On a good note, at least I got to experience what it feels like to do so than having none at all.. I may not have h

It may be hard to forget this ordeal I went through but having learned some lessons along the way, I will set my eyes on the future and avoid the same mistakes. It’s true: I never got to work either as a phlebotomist or as a RMT in a laboratory for a certain period of time. But I was able to do a lot of stuff which I normally can’t do during medschool like watch TV and rest. I was unable to help my parents financially and save for the future. But I helped a lot in the household chores that I somehow became the ‘atsoy’ of the house. I did not achieve this goal or fulfill this well desired dream.  But I was able to achieve others like having a concert for my 21st birthday and passing both the medical technology board exams and NMAT.

As I already mentioned, God had and still has a purpose for me. This does not mean the end of the world so I will just keep on going! It may sound cliché but everything does happen for a reason. And even though I may not see the reason right now, someday soon I shall. Here’s to that and also for saying goodbye to all these “what ifs” and saying hello to “whatevs”!

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