Lately, my life and the weather seem to have similarities. It has been tough for me ever since, dealing with some problems. I actually don’t feel like writing right now but maybe letting this out might help. Well, hmmm, where should I start?
I’m not giving the specifics ’cause it’s too personal. But I just feel like I’m in that stage where you’ve been before. It seems like an unending cycle for me and the feeling of breaking free has never been realized. It has become stronger than ever before. I know what I’m sharing is surely vague but just know that I’m in one of life’s valleys. Simply, it’s one of life’s downs.
And it’s not because of the rain. It’s been raining hard since Wednesday due to a typhoon and I love the coolness it brings. Hopefully though, everyone is safe especially in the areas where the storm hit. It may be the essence of the weather aggravating my personal state. My heart is burdened somehow and my mind is agitated. This feeling makes me sick to the core and my paranoia makes it worse. Indeed, it’s too familiar to me.
However, on the bright side, I can feel my nothingness right now. The need for freedom is greater. The desire for change is stronger. My faith in God may have had its fluctuations but is increasing. My hope is fading but not completely. During this trial, I shall cling to God and remain in the refuge of His love.
To sum it all up, I don’t like what I’m feeling right now ’cause I’ve always ended up this way. It is sickening for life to be like this. But it brings me back to the One Who can provide me comfort and strength, the Source of everything I need to make it through right now. And so I know, this rainy day blues won’t be too long.